Frustrating Email From Igor to Dr. Frankenheller Inbox
FD:
I tuned you up a beautiful email & then lost every bit of it because of the damn email address
I got from MF.
I'm assuming it should be
something else.So let's try to salvage something out of this disaster...
[oh yeah, you gotta lot of misspelled words on your website. Somebody need to use spellcheck.]
Oh yeah, Mr. Jim wants you to come to Forkland. He wants to meet you.
Roberto Lounging On The Buie's Deck [photo by Gloria Jane Seay Buie]
FD:
Igor made it back to his cave in T-town without incident.
Showl do 'preciate all the hospitality you offered me this weekend.
I think getting to know Boogie was about the best thing that happened.
I talked to Mr. Bird & there ain't no easy way to get water other than
finding the spring and breaking up the
rock to open it up.
The windmills he knows about are rod pumps with little volume &
drilling wells is cost prohibitive.
I did check for you and Mr. Bird & I talked about a water wheel he saw
near Belem, Brazil used to pump water up into a storage tank & another
hand dug well in the jungles of Peru that pumped water into a storage
tank by using a rope loop between two pullies pulled by a Briggs &
Stratton engine. It worked because the water in the well would stick to the
rope and when it hit the top pulley on the loop, the water would spray
off
& be collected in the tank.
Mr. Bird also has some ideas about a cheap way to pump water out of a
spring pool that's lower than your pond. I didn't quite understand that.
Here's pictures of Mr. Bird's 80th birthday party at the Demopolis
Hotel last January along with some hay sculpture stuff.
Pimps & Hos in Demopolis
sted by roberto at 12:24 AM Monday, January 15, 2007
Mr. Jim & THE TIN MAN courtesy of
http://www.alafarmnews.com/0205archive/0205bird.htmHey y'all:
Our property manager, Karen, came in this morning & she immediately asked"How was your weekend? Oh yeah, you went to the party!"
OH YEAH!!!!Dey were a party!I gave her the Reader's Digest version of what happened and she yelled
"That was so surreal, it's beyond surreal!!!!
That goes on the
WALL OF SHAME!!!!" ;
so this is gonna be a good story.
photo courtesy of
http://www.alafarmnews.com/0205archive/0205bird.htmLast week Archie invited me to go to a party in Demopolis on Saturday night.
Archie had invited me to his Daddy, Mr. Jim's 80th birthday party. The party was held in Napoleon's Restaurant in the Demopolis Hotel. The birthday party would be the 10th anniversary of the
Pimps, Hos & John's party of January of '97 which was Mr. Jim's 70th birthday party.
Mr Jim's '97 70th birthday party was held in the old part of the hotel which is a time capsule
.{note to movie makers}
Mr. JimThe invitations to
THE PIMPS, HOs & JOHNs went over like a lead balloon in some West Alabama households.
Some folk don' t 'preciate renting rooms out by the hour.
One of my associates here in Tuscaloosa who is in his 80s certainly did not appreciate his engraved invitation to
Mr. Jim's PIMPS, HOs & JOHNs 80th Birthday Party.
photo courtesy of
http://www.alafarmnews.com/0205archive/0205bird.htmMr. Jim lives on top of a bluff above Rattlesnake Bend of the Tombigbee River. He can show you an antebellum engraving of Gaineswood in his living room and identify his aunt who's in a cradle [Mr. Jim was one of her pall bearers] as well as the slaves in the picture.
http://www.demopolischamber.com/historicsites.aspGAINESWOOD IN DEMOPOLISSo I got to the hotel on time for the party and I was dressed like Captain Stabbin. The first thing that made me feel at home was seeing Archie out in front of the hotel dressed in drag with Russ taking pictures while he pranced around in his bright blue pimp suit.
After things got really rolling, I answered all the hoity-toity Demopolis folks questions about who I was and finally some moron asked,"So what kind uv captain are you anyway?" So I replied,"I'll have you know that
I AM THE CHIEF COMMANDING OFFICER ON THE GOOD SHIP LOLLYPOP!!At the end of the night, Mr. Jim challenged everyone to come to church the next morning in their
PIMP/HO/JOHN/MADAME/TAXI DRIVERS/SEX VICE SQUAD outfit.
As we were leaving the hotel, Mr. Jim was plotting a scandal at Sunday services by planning to tell the preacher that he & everybody else'd been out all night then I said, "Yeah, y'all come in the sanctuary yelling to the preacher,
'WE MADE IT BUT WE BARELY MADE IT'!Mr. Jim gets his way in
Forkland.
Sure enough, at about 9:40 A.M.
a large group of pimps, hos, johns,madames and sex vice squad cops were seen taking communion at St. John's In The Prairie located in Forkland.
St. John's In The Prairie,
Forkland, Al
After Sunday services, I went over to Mr. Jim's house for coffee and birthday cake & he showed me around his place.
Best,
Roberto
http://myspace.com/paulbearbryantP.S.
Mr. Jim's art:
photos of MR. JIM's Art courtesy of
http://www.alafarmnews.com/0205archive/0205bird.htm Monday, June 18, 2007
HEY Y'ALL:Yesterday I celebrated Father's Day by going down below
Forkland to ride on the river with Archie and his crew. I had a premonition that the sun was so hot and the land was so dry that the cows would break out of Mr. Jim's [Archie's Daddy] fence and eat his hay bale sculptures.
image courtesy of
http://www.alafarmnews.com/0205archive/0205bird.ht
Sho 'nuff, I were riding down 43 to Archie's place and when I passed Mr. Jim's there was Archie & Paula in their car underneath the BIRD sign. I did a YouEEE
& sho 'nuff, the cows weren't munching on the bunny but they ate half way through the caterpillar. Archie got all the cows off the highway right of way and Mr. Jim showed up.
all images courtesy of
http://www.alafarmnews.com/0205archive/0205bird.htm
Me & Mr. Jim
Mr. Jim had me get in the back of his truck and told me to give the cows these pellets so we could lure 'em to a back pasture. Well Mr. Jim didn't take off right away and cows attacked me!
This red heifer bit the bag with the pellets and almost got my hand! Damn cow bit like a snake. Scared me to death so I jumped off the truck with Mr. Jim cussing me,"You don't know a damn thang about cows, COWBOY!"
So Archie took my place and I took my truck and used it to round up the stragglers.
We got our little herd of ten across the railroad tracks and here come 50 more ready to go home so as soon as they got through the gate, I tied it with bailing wire & went to meet Archie & Mr. Jim.
It was bedlam!
The red cow tried to bite Archie and he jumped off the truck hollering just like I did. Two more red heifers squared off and went at each other like two of those Rocky Mountain Sheep. Unbelievable. The cows were in good shape physically but the drought had gotten to them. Archie said he'd never seen cows so mean. We went over to Archie's place & fed Archie's cows and they acted the same damn way. Weird...
I could NOT have been in a better place yesterday afternoon. The whole time we were on the Black Warrior River, we saw ONE Seadoo.
We had the place to ourself.
Sitting on that pontoon boat with Mr. Jim Bird, a graduate Marine Engineer, and using my copy of The Historical Atlas of Alabama
http://www.as.ua.edu/geography/cartlab/publications/index.html,
we talked about every port of call in the fork of the Warrior and the 'Bigbee.
What a man.
We went up in this slough and he told me, "I didn't buy this land when I had a chance. $125 an acre. If I'd a done it, I would have owned three continuous miles between the banks of the two rivers."
kewl, huh?!!!!
Bill J. Moody in 2007
